When I was in my early twenties, I would get excited upon walking into my apartment and seeing the red flashing light on my answering machine. Who could it be? At the time, I didn’t have a mobile phone and I frankly didn’t want one. Why would I want a buzzing phone in my pocket all day?
If my memory serves me correctly, I think my sister and I bought a computer before we purchased mobile phones. It seemed like the more practical move. I remember signing up for this thing called AOL. An electronic mail box. Say what?! On a good day, I would log on and hear “You’ve got mail,” and giddiness would ensue.
Then in the early 2000s, everyone and their mother was hyped about this thing called Facebook. And I distinctly remember thinking, don’t you people have jobs? Who has time to be on Facebook all day? I was a public school teacher at the time and I was pretty much shut off from the rest of the world during school hours. Although I was able to check my messages, I chose not to because I had important work to do.
Fast forward to today where I now have all of this communication ability in the palm of my hand and I find myself having the most ridiculous thoughts.
OMG, I have 5 new likes on my Instagram post. They like me, they really like me!
Why hasn’t ____ replied to the email I sent 10 seconds ago?
Should I take my iPad or my phone into the bathroom with me? Decisions, decisions!
Unlike my younger, and apparently wiser self, I have let go of my non-negotiable “do not disturb” hours. I am now one of those people that I used to make fun of. Ouch! Is this really happening?
I catch myself attempting to make myself feel better by saying things like “At least, I’m not on Twitter and TickTok.”
My husband, for example (sorry honey), refused to get a smartphone for years. This is hilarious when you consider that he’s a computer scientist. He has a Facebook account that sits idle and his email inbox could use some attention. Yet, right now he’s on his tablet probably perusing Reddit or watching endless YouTube videos. No judgment here. I’m itching to grab my phone.
Sigh, I really don’t like how this feels. It’s like I’m regressing by using the latest technology.
If I’m honest with myself, this is a path that I have chosen (or that has been orchestrated by social media companies-topic for another day). When I allow myself to bounce from emails to social media, I’m chasing instant gratification and allowing my ego to run wild. And when I really pay attention, I can identify when the urge to check social media arises. I’m usually feeling stressed or I’m avoiding something that I should be doing. No bueno. Time to reign it in.
On the flip side, I know that when I shut everything off, I am really f***ing productive. Pardon my language. But it’s true. I surprise myself sometimes.
In order to set boundaries for my work and creative time I’ll need to answer these three questions:
How can I best connect with family and friends that are across the globe?
How do I build an online presence if I’m not online all the time?
What would mindful internet use look and feel like for me?
I will also hold myself accountable to the following while I attempt to restore balance:
- Check email at specific times
- Set “do not disturb” hours. During those hours, I will work without checking email, Instagram, etc., and use the internet for research or specific work purposes only.
- Set a timer and shut off all devices one hour before bedtime.
This list may likely evolve but I think it’s a sensible place to begin. I commit to writing a follow-up post next month to share my experiences. I know this experiment will certainly present some challenges but I am looking forward to reclaiming my precious time by any means necessary.
I’m curious to hear about your experiences. Are you aware of the amount of time that you spend on your phone checking email or social media notifications? Do you have “do not disturb” hours? Does the thought of it scare the crap out of you?
If there is anything I have learned over the past year of being in and lockdowns, it’s how valuable our time is. If we don’t make a conscious choice about how we want to spend our time, someone or something else will.
Peace,
Grace
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